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The Lord of F1 returns!!!!

A season that has already produced more than its fair share of thrills and spills just got even more exciting after it was confirmed on Wednesday that Michael Schumacher is to make a sensational comeback for Ferrari as temporary cover for the injured Felipe Massa.

"Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro intends to entrust Michael Schumacher with Felipe Massa's car until the Brazilian driver is able to race again," Ferrari announced on its website.
"Michael Schumacher has shown his willingness and in the next few days he will undergo a specific programme of preparation at the end of which it will be possible to confirm his participation in the championship starting with the European Grand Prix."

The sensational news that Michael Schumacher is to come out of retirement and step into Felipe Massa’s Ferrari while the Brazilian recovers from injury has energised an F1 fraternity still reeling from depressing recent events.

While debates will always rage about who is F1’s greatest driver of all time, Schumacher’s statistical goldrush is unrivalled, as you will see from the following comprehensive list of all the meaningful records he set in his glittering career.

Records are made to be broken, of course, but looking at some of the achievements below you wonder whether some of them will ever be eclipsed – except possibly by the great man himself if his comeback proves a success...


Records held by Michael Schumacher

* Most world titles: 7 (1994, 1995, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004)

* Most consecutive titles: 5 (2000-04)

* Most grand prix wins: 91

* Most wins in a single season: 13 (2004)

* Most consecutive wins in a single season: 7 (2004)

* Most wins at the same race: 8 (French GP)

* Most wins with one team: 72 (Ferrari)

* Most wins from pole: 40

* Most pole positions: 68

* Most front-row starts: 115

* Most podium finishes: 154

* Most second place finishes: 43

* Most points finishes: 190

* Most points scored: 1,369

* Most points in a single season: 148 (from a maximum of 180, in 2004)

* Most fastest laps: 76

* Most fastest laps in a season: 10 (from a maximum of 18, in 2004)

* Most races led: 141

* Most laps led: 5,108

* Furthest distance led in a season: 2,085 miles (2004)

* Fastest race-winning average speed: 153.843mph (2003 Italian GP)

* Most consecutive podiums: 19 (USA 2001 to Japan 2002)

* Most consecutive points finishes: 24 (Hungary 2001 to Malaysia 2003)

* Most consecutive seasons with a win: 15 (1992-2006)

* Most consecutive wins from pole (6)

* Most ‘clean sweeps’ (pole, win, fastest lap): 22

* Largest points gap between champion and runner-up: 67 (2002)

* Earliest title winner: 2002 (in July, with 6 of the 17 races remaining)

* Longest continuous spell with one team: 11 seasons (Ferrari, 1996-2006)

* Most races with same team: 162 (Ferrari)

* Most time between first and last race wins: 14 years, 1 month and 1 day

* Never outqualified by his team-mate in 1992, 1993 or 1994

* Only driver to have finished every race on the podium: 2002


Trivia

* Won all his ‘landmark’ GPs, winning on his 50th, 100th, 150th and 200th GP starts

* Only events he failed to win were South African, Mexican and Turkish GPs

* His record of 91 GP wins is only one shy of the combined total of the next two most winning drivers, Alain Prost (51) and Ayrton Senna (41)

* Scored points in a remarkable 76.6% of all his GP starts

* Led 56.9% of all GPs he started

* Banned or disqualified from more races than anyone else (banned from two races and disqualified from another in 1994; excluded from 1997 championship for collision with Jacques Villeneuve)

What a glorious day. Just thought I would take this opportunity to tell you about my morning. Sunshine, coffee, walking the doberdog nero in a meadow by the river listening to buena vista social club on my pod of i. Absolutely Superb!
But I still can't get rid of the nagging feeling that something just isn't right.
What could it be? Lets take a moment to think... Hmmm... that's it!!!
Gordon brown is a lying, corrupt, egotistical fucker and his cronies are sucking this country dry whilst at the same time making sure it is completely fucked for who ever takes power for at least the next 10 long miserable fucking years!
Ahhhh... I feel so much better now.

Peace out homies! Until next time.

No shit Sherlock!

Cocaine link to violent behaviour
Evidence has emerged which points to a link between cocaine use and violent behaviour.
Did someone actually get paid to write this shit? FFS!

Figures from Greater Manchester Police suggest that 41% of people arrested for violence had taken cocaine or crack cocaine, by itself or with other drugs.
Yes and figures released the other day by a monkey suggest hungry people eat food. COCKS!

The force took samples from 1,000 people arrested for offences such as assault, wounding and affray in the seven months to March last year.

The charity DrugScope revealed the results in its magazine, DrugLink.

Similiar findings had been reported in the Liverpool area after a separate study, run last summer by John Moores University.

Cocaine is more widely used in Britain than ever, while the average price has halved in a decade. A wrap can cost as little as £25.

Concern has grown among police forces that use of the drug in combination with alcohol may be fuelling night-time violence in pubs, clubs and city centres.
May? are you blind/stupid/a waste of tax payers money? for god's sake this has been going on for years and you write about it now! Is it any wonder this whole country is turning into a giant floating turd!? A skint one at that. Did i mention the weather was shit too?

Further research will be conducted this year, with police keen to establish whether there is a link between alcohol, cocaine and domestic violence.
How about doing some research to see if:
A) The police are a bunch of incompetent fuckwits?

B) Gordon Brown is a complete Twat?

C) This country is fucked beyond recognition and in the next 12 months it will get considerably worse?

If we weren't too busy being politically correct and stopped fucking about then perhaps there would be an opportunity to turn things around. Let's stop pandering to the human rights cock jobbers, stop throwing our money at greedy bastard bank twats, stop making excuses for scumbag street urchins, stop making british people the minority in britain, stop Gordon Brown, no, the labour party from having any say in anything and lets have a big fucking clear out. Flush the stench filled turd down the toilet and start over. Lets do it now before it is too late.

Strike a pose...

Day out in Chester - Seagull was feeling brave...

iPhone OS 3.0 is coming, preview on March 17th
by Joshua Topolsky, posted Mar 12th 2009 at 12:06PM

We just got the announcement, iPhone OS 3.0 is coming. Set your clocks, mark your calendars. It's going down March 17th. Apparently, we'll get a sneak peak at the new OS, as well as a look at a brand new version of the SDK. Exciting stuff indeed, and we'll be there live at 10am PST (1pm EST) with the liveblog. Apple's calling this an "advance preview of what we're building," so we're not expecting anything ready to go as of the 17th, but hopefully this will allow developers to start building toward future functionality (hey, how about some push notifications?), and presumably users won't have too many months to wait after that for the real deal.

ENGADGET

Cute or Clinically insane!? You decide...

Stumbled across this on Engadget - Apparently 'Boxxy' caused a shit storm on the interwebs and the geeks nearly imploded in a civil war!
A bit unhinged... yes. Massively offensive... not really...

Judge for yourself...

Test

Like I said its a test

E71 test

Just a quick test to see how posting goes from my new all singing all dancing phone. Fingers crossed it will work a treat.

I've got my eye on you! - a quick image test...

My intentions...

I am hoping to try and use this blog as an open forum for my thoughts, work and photography, on occassion i may be a little outspoken, sometimes borderline mad. Hopefully there should be a nice balance and somewhere, someone on our ever changing planet will take a little joy, interest, hope away with them...

It's been a long time...

Since i have ventured onto here. It was initially set up as an experiment as my first foray into the world of blogging but i feel the time for a comeback will soon be upon us...

Shady Pies... you jeb-end...

Fat-pie.com :: Help us or I'll rape you

Powered by ScribeFire.

Ah, young love... It makes me sick!!!

When will the British Media's love affair with Lewis 'Golden Boy' Hamilton ever bloody end!?

ITV are the worst offenders, during any interview with Lewis (which tends to be at least 3 times in any one programme) Steve 'Weird Face' Ryder stares captivated into the young rookies eyes like a pre-pubecent teen who harbors a secret crush on his 1st yr english supply teacher!

Steve Rider: As you were waiting for the verdict, what was the tension like because it was a close-run thing whether the drivers’ points were going to be lost or not?

TRANSLATES AS: Please dont be angry the nasty FIA may not realise you are the Messiah but here at ITV we understand your greatness and offer ourselves forward as your humble servants, admittedly, James Allen is a bit of a cock but even he drools in your general direction... Did i mention i want your babies?

LH: It was.

Translates as...

Thanks for stating the obvious underling, i am fully aware of my greatness. Yes James Allen is a cock, and your point is?

My babies? I wouldn't trust you to carry my excrement around in a sock! Your quiff is rather fetching though, attractive in a slightly wrong way. Now quiet and finish polishing my shoes.

I got back here [Spa], I think it was a two o’clock meeting with my engineer, we were walking the track and I had a call to say that this is what they have said in the press.

What he's saying is...

I'd just got the second coat of paint applied to my synthetic hair and was waiting for the laser to warm up so i could re-whiten my teeth. Suddenly one of my servants stumbled into my quarters clutching the Hamilton Hotline, platinum plated of course.

So you can imagine my heart just dropped and [to] see that all the work that the team have done, that I have put in this season, it was going to be taken away from me.

In Lewis speak...

So you can imagine, i was filled with pure rage and all the work i have done and all the effort i put into carrying the team and operating my puppet Ronny. Mind control on this level takes a lot of concentration. How dare the FIA even consider taking anything away from me, after all i am f1!

Fortunately, I didn’t have my points taken away from me and I think we were really lucky with that, so I am going to do the best job I can and just keep on pushing [for the title].

What he mean to say was...

Lucky for them, the fia saw sense and realised without me there is no F1, in the eyes of the true fans at least. Plus i'm sure the threat of unleashing a plague of locusts did no harm to the outcome. Yes, we cheated, but thats not important, what is important is that i am lewis hamilton, i am the incarnation of this sport and i am now able to continue milking this cash cow of every last bitter drop, like a young boy who's just discovered his dads porno stash and the joys of masturbation for the first time. Did i mention i have a book coming out? Its 'Lewis Hamilton: The Messiah has Come!' available everywhere ever...

Nice idea, but a bit gay...

Looks fantastic but would you really be able to live with yourself when you know full well your 'ferrari' only has an MR2 under the bonnet?!

Thought not...

Winnebago Man

swearing has never been cooler. This guy has it down to a fine art... turn it up, sit back and enjoy :)

Alonso doesn't believe in God...

...which according to the latest 'press' statements means his team mate doesn't exist?

When will this needless shite stop, all you hear now is 'lewis this, lewis that, he's like god except he's black'. Please make it go away!!!

Now don't get me wrong, i have nothing against Mr Hamilton, quite the opposite, what he has achieved is remarkable, but the way ITV have turned their F1 coverage into the Lewis Hamilton Show is completely ridiculous! I worshipped Schuey but i still accepted that F1 is a sport (i now use that term loosely) and is watched by many people.

Apparently though, ITV doesn't see it like that, Lewis is british and therefore the world should bow down at his perfectly formed little feet. They ram programme after programme down our still sore from lat time throats, lewis is senna, lewis is ghandi, lewis is the man on the moon, lewis and the races he might win in the future, and not forgetting The James Allen Story: I want to marry lewis and allow him to abuse my anal passage.

This needs to stop, the higher they build the poor guy up the harder he will fall, and lets face it, being a brit sports star there is a damn good chance he will fall, like a drunk stumbling off a kerb straight into the path of an oncoming bus, over-flowing with hungry members of the mindless british press, ready to capture every last detail of his impending vehicular doom.


Before i go insane with this rant let me just add one more point...
Kimi has turned out to be utter crap, 50 million dollars pissed up the wall of ferraris history steeped garages. Please Mr Todt if you read this, or one of your friends, or a friend of a friend who might meet you in a bar... Get Schuey back at all costs and win some races, he retired too early anyway, just look at the drive he gave in brazil. He's had time out, his appetite will be refreshed so get him back in a damn car and soon!!!!

Right, rant over, thanks for listening, you've been a lovely audience.

I will be back soon as it has been suggested i start to cover the grand prix that we have left, so i will oblige and give it a go...

Fonejacker 04 - Monies

funny doesnt do this damn thing justice...

Trouble brewing for Mclaren

Cake row rocks Macca

McLaren are at the centre of a new favouritism row after an incident in an Indianapolis restaurant last night.

The team had popped out to the city's top German bistro Schadenfreude’s for a group meal ahead of this weekend’s US Grand Prix.

All had been going well until a member of Fernando Alonso’s entourage noticed that a waitress had given Lewis Hamilton a second slice of battenberg cake, resulting in the Spanish side of the table levelling a claim of special treatment towards the British rookie.

Our source said: “I think this is just being taken out of context. McLaren have had, and will continue to have, a policy of making sure each driver gets the same amount of cake, and it will be no different with Lewis and Fernando.”

However, the incident had echoes of a similar fuss during the great Alain Prost-Ayrton Senna feud of 1989, when the Frenchman ate the last chocolate éclair at the San Marino Grand Prix.

Hayabusa Turbo Mk1 Golf!!!

VW Golf Mk1 With A 350Hp Suzuki Hayabusa Engine!


Are these guys’ nuts or what? Work of UK based H.R. Engineering that specializes in converting front wheel drive cars to rear wheel drive with any engine option, the heavily modified VW Golf Mk1 has been blessed with a 350bhp turbocharged, 1.3-liter motorbike engine from the Suzuki Hayabusa driving the rear wheels. It's not the first time we've seen something like this as some of you might remember the Smart Fortwo Diablo with the 180Hp Suzuki GSX-R 1000 motor. As you’ll hear for yourself in the videos that we added, if anything, the modified Golf sounds pretty damn sick.